


We're going to be Okay

by RioRiley



Series: An idiots guide for coping with the events of Avengers Endgame [7]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Endgame, Grief/Mourning, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 11:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18619606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RioRiley/pseuds/RioRiley
Summary: ENDGAME SPOILERS.Pepper grieves."She prays and maybe she isn't trying to talk God at all. She just hopes that there is the slightest chance that Tony can hear her."





	We're going to be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> yeah I'll keep drabbling. You keep reading.

Sometimes, Pepper prays. She's been weird about the praying thing for the last decade or so, since meeting Thor and all. Because she's not quite sure who she's talking to or if anyone is listening. But she supposes that is everyone's struggle. But since Tony died, she's been praying to whatever God wants to listen.

She prays for Tony. That he is able to rest. That his earthly struggles have left him, and all the other Sunday school bullshit she had been fed to pray for over the years like that he gets to meet God, and that his mansion in courtyards on high is decent and well decorated. 

She prays and maybe she isn't trying to talk God at all. She just hopes that there is the slightest chance that Tony can hear her. She talks to him every night.

She tells him about Morgan. And how much she misses her daddy. She tells him about her first day in kindergarten. About how she's the smartest girl in the whole school. Tony would be so proud. She tells him about the silly things she does. About the little mischievous things Morgan does that Tony would have been absolutely enamored by. Pepper thought that Morgan was wrapped around Tony's finger when he was still alive, but if he was still around it would have been even more than it was. 

Pepper finds herself lonely, a lot of the time. She and Tony had something special and losing him feels like losing a large piece of herself. She knows and understands that Morgan needs to be strong. But she also believes in not shielding Morgan from her grief.

On Tony's birthday, Pepper finds herself sitting in the workshop that she doesn't have the heart to clean out, looking at Tony's old suits. They still smell like him after all this time. Maybe she's only imagining the scent but she swears it's still there. He always smelled so nice. She would give anything to have him back.

Morgan's at school, and Pepper is sitting in the workshop, taking in the essence of the man she loved. 

The man she lost.

"Tony, I don't know if you can hear me, but baby I miss you. I miss you so damn bad. Everyone keeps telling me you're in a better place, but that's such bullshit, because the best place for you to be is here with me and Morgan. As horrible as it sounds, some nights I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up. I know Morgan needs me, and I would never leave her, but Tony, I needed you." Pepper breaks into rough, horrible, sobbing.

"I don't know where you are, or what you have to do there, but I hope you're listening. I hope that you get to tell your parents how much you loved them. I hope you get to tell them all about our daughter. I hope you can tell them how much you loved them Tony. And I hope that reunion was sweet." 

"I hope you get to be around other people there. That you haven't just found some heavenly workshop and chosen to be alone. I hope you get to hang out with Einstein, and that you can pick his brain. I hope you get to meet Hawking, and Lincoln. I hope you save me a spot in line to meet you. Because there are going to be so many people there longing to meet you. To thank you. But I hope I get to see you. I can't wait to spend forever with you, baby."

"Baby I know I promised you we would be okay. But I'm not. I'm not okay without you." Pepper pleads, her hand resting on the cold metal of the hands of one of the iron suits.

"Steve's been really sick. Bruce and Stephen don't think he will make it through the end of the week. I'm taking Morgan to see him tomorrow. He loves her Tony. He loved you. And I know you guys had your issues, but I wish you could have worked it out sooner. He feels so guilty Tony, that he couldn't save you. We all feel that. Everyone wishes they could have gotten in the way and used the gauntlet instead. We all wish you could still be here."

"I miss you terribly. I miss you. I hate that Morgan has to grow up without you, Tony. I hate that you don't get to be here to see her, and see all the amazing things she's doing as she grows. And I know you would have loved it Tony. You were such a good dad. I miss seeing the bond you had with our little girl. I would give anything to wake up at midnight and find you in the kitchen making sundaes with her again. You used to act all surprised and hide your bowls when I walked in, and then you'd start throwing gummy worms at me. And I know I might have seemed mad, but I'd give anything to have that again." 

Pepper smiles, laughing through her tears at the memories. "Do you remember, for your last birthday, when we took the jet to Los Angeles, so you could have an In n Out burger? You got Morgan addicted. That's all she wants now. I tried making a copycat version online, but substituted the patty for a vegetarian alternative, and Morgan hated it. She told me it was rabbit food!" Pepper laughs.

 

"We're going to be okay Tony. It's just going to take a little longer than I expected. It's hard to move past being in love with the bravest man in the universe." Pepper says with a smile, as she hears the front door open, and Morgan's tiny feet walk inside.

She listens as Morgan runs down the stairs, excited to tell her about the day she had at school. Morgan opens the door to the workshop and smiles at Pepper, and then her smile brightens as she looks behind her.

"Hi daddy! Happy Birthday!" Morgan says, looking slightly past her mom. Pepper turns around, she can't see Tony, but she knows he's there.

And he will always be there.


End file.
